Saturday, February 27, 2010

Still feeling awesome!!

Just thought i'd check in...still feeling great! Dh and I went out for a bit today, did some running around...I do seem to be getting tired quicker...which is just means that my red blood cell count is low..but this is the week it's supposed to...so that should mean the chemo working. No hair loss yet..which is something I'm not looking forward too...at least no my hair on my head...but I can't stop it. They way they explain it at the hospital is this ...chemo kills all fast growing cells...which is what a tumor is...as well as the cells that make your hair grow..so if you lose your hair it means the chemo is doing what it should. I won't miss shaving my legs all summer ...let me tell ya...that'll be a real big bonus!

It's funny what some people ask..I mean...I wonder if they think about what they want to know or if they just don't know what to say so they say something stupid.

One question was--> Am I gaining or losing weight...cause some chemo's make you lose weight and some make you gain weight...seriously? Yes, i'm doing fine thank you LOL

Another question--> Are you worried about losing your hair? NO...I think I'll look amazing as a cue ball...I mean really...I can't think of too many women that would relish the idea of being bald..I think this is one thing that men would be much better at dealing with.

I spoke with a woman at the hospital the day of my chemo...she was there for her last treatment..and she said " when you wake up and find hair on your pillow...you'll have a moment...probably cry..maybe even uncontrollably...but then it'll pass and you'll realize it's just the way it is..and carry on" I had to thank her for if anything...letting me know we all react probably pretty much the same. It's like she said..showering is so fast...no shaving, no hair to wash...just think of the water you'll save LOL...I loved her attitude..which is exactly how mine is. I know it's going to happen...so i'm not sure how i'll react...who knows..maybe i'll look better then ever~~~~

~~Dance like no one is watching~~sing like no one is listening~~and love like you've never been hurt~~Life is short~~don't sweat the small stuff--words to live by :)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Big 'C'

"The Big "C'" I heard someone call it.
Another just whispered the word.
That we don't even dare to say "cancer" out lout
Gives it power it doesn't deserve.

So I'm giving that letter new meaning
And refusing to give in to fear
by reclaiming the power for you and for me
And by saying these words loud and clear:

Let the "C" be fore "Cure" and "Compassion"
Let it stand for the "Candles" we light.
And a "Chorus" of voices shouting "You Can!"
To all who will take up this fight

Let the "C" be fore "Cash Contribution"
("Credit" or "Check" will work too).
Let it stand for "Commitment" and "Checkups"
and "Cheer",
And the "Children" "Counting" on you.

Let it mean that we know our "Creator"
Is beside us each step of the way,
And remind us to "Call" on his strength and his love
And to "Celebrate" every new day.

To everyone facing this "Challenge,"
I say it's a fight we can win.
Tell all who will listen, that starting today,
The "C" is for "Courage" my friend.,

Kathy Cawthon

Sunday, February 21, 2010

How adorable is this...

Reece came home from her friends today and asked if she could bake some chocolate chip cookies. She even put a pink ribbon on it for me!!!




Day 4 and...

still feel great. I know this likely won't last...but for now I'm feeling normal LOL..whatever that may be.

I visited with some old and dear friends yesterday for a little while. I used to crop with these girls but haven't in a long time...something I'm hoping to change soon!!! Paulette and Densie gave me a Willow Tree figurine...Good Health. I have her sitting on my desk...hoping her vibes will hit me.

We went for dinner at friends last night...getting all my visits in while I feel good enough..and quite frankly...LOOK good enough.

I think I'm going to scrap today...I need to get a challenge done for Scrap~tures...and since I've got so much time on my hands, no sense wasting it

Have a great day

Friday, February 19, 2010

Day 2...

and still feeling great..no nausea what so ever!

Getting paperwork in order for my sick benefits...My first official day off work, although if I feel good Monday I think I might go in for a bit. I do alot that mom hasn't done in years, so if i can at least try and keep her up to date...it'll help..at least until I loose my hair...don't really think I wanna go into work after that. Mom will just bank my hours and give me some cash as I need it...so again...another benefit of working for a family business

I might even work on scrapping today :)

Sean is really taking care of me...getting my pills, making sure I drink lots of water...I'm really glad I have him home to take care of me. I guess there are blessings in everything that happens

Keep smilin'

Thursday, February 18, 2010

And away we goooooooo

I had my PICC line put in on Tuesday...wasn't too bad, in the long run it'll be so much more convenient. There was a mix up getting my home care nurse figured out...but it's all done now. All had to do with their boundaries and where we lived. She was supposed to come yesterday and change the dressings on the line and flush it but no one came. It's all straigtened out now!!!

I went for my first treatment today. So far so good...no nausea or anything. The drugs they have now are pretty good apprarently...so I'm in the mind set that I can control this ...which I should be able to! It only took about 2 hours to administer..so that was even better.

There is so much to read, learn, remember...it's not overwhelming...it's just that there is SO much! But I have nothing else to really do at the moment but read.

Sean and I stopped and picked up my wig...not sure how much i'll wear it, but it's good to have...for when I do lose my hair. Who knows, maybe i'll be comfortable with just wearing a head scarf. I picked up one of them today too...and it's PINK and looks pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

I signed up for a ' Look Good , Feel Good' class. They teach you how to do exactly that while on treatments...and how to do makeup so you don't look so sick etc. Apparently when you are done you walk away with upwards of $400 worth of cosmetics. SWEEEEEEET

I'll try and keep this updated as I go along...and hopefully add in some everyday stuff too....not all about 'being sick'

Next treatment...March 11!!!!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

My new journey is about to begin...

On Tuesday February 16th...I'll be getting a P.I.C.C line put in (a central catheter) so I don't have to have continual needles for my chemo. My first treatment is Thursday February 18th. I'm nervous, scared, mad, anxious....there are just so many side effects and of course everyone is different so although I have the list of what to expect...I won't really know until it starts. The administration takes about 3 hours...

Treatments will last aprox 21 weeks...and the upside..the oncologist is some pretty sexy eye candy...so at least he'll be easy to look at!

I'm not sure how I'll feel but I'll do my best to keep this updated at least.

thank you to everyone who has sent well wishes...and hugs...I really really appreciate it.


T :)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

That was fast....

I have my oncology appointment for February 10th in Barrie. I guess I'll know soon exactly what to expect!

For the record..I still think this is very unfair .........................

Friday, February 5, 2010

So...........

Sean and I went to Toronto on the 3rd...and found out the surgeon wants to do chemo first...to try and shrink the tumor and kill any other cells that might be floating around...so I have to go back and see her (the surgeon) on the 5th of May. In the meantime, they are referring me to Barrie to do the treatments...since Barrie is only 40 minutes from me. Much more convenient for travel purposes.

I had to go back to Toronto the 4th for a MUGA scan. This is a scan of my heart...sort of like the before pictures. Some chemo's are very damaging to the heart muscle so once I start chemo they'll likely do another one of these tests to make sure there isn't any damage being done to my heart.

SO, lets hope I hear soon from the Barrie hospital, and get this going ...maybe if everyone prays for me...the chemo will make the tumor disappear completely :)

I'm scared...I've never been sick in my life...with anything....never broken a bone, never had stitches.....I guess maybe that's a good thing...

Thanks to everyone who is wishing me well...believe me it helps knowing I've got some pretty cool friends...both IRL and virtually!

XOXO

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

so...I guess tomorrow is the day....

so....this is it...tomorrow I head to Toronto to get the answers...what the doc says goes. I had someone ask if I was excited...I mean really...excited? Not at all..but anxious..yes. It's been tough waiting..although I stand by my decision to get the second opinion. I feel as though whatever the experts say is what goes. Sean and I have decided that regardless of the outcome...we won't be revealing what type of surgery i'll be having. That is the only question some people are asking...and as far as we're concerned..if you care about me, us...my family..that is not important..what's important is me having this problem *removed* and getting the treatment I need to live a really long life. Am I scared...Hell ya..doesn't mean I'm not gonna take this by the horns and show it whose boss! Wish me luck!!!

How cute is this!!!

read the t-shirt!!!